Rah Zami

Welcome from UNMC (previously archived)

2011-12-17T20:02:00.003-05:00

Scholars, theologians, seminary students, laity, and pastors have pondered over the meaning of “community” these last few years. Admittedly, I was once a member of this constituency, searching for the answer to this question that permeated theological inquiry. Not only were people trying to reveal the truth of community, but persons wanted to know where Christian communities were located. It seemed as if people were coming and going from mainline Protestant denominational churches because of the lack of communal atmosphere.

When coming to UNMC months ago, I was not surprised when I did not find a community atmosphere. Instead, I found a family with open arms, warm smiles, great hugs, and an amazing hospitality hour. Everyone is genuine, sincere, and authentic. THIS is the “community” others seek to find. What an amazing blessing to have found a home after coming out from the wilderness of exclusion and marginalization! Truly a Divine presence can be felt.

This presence is not only in the Church and embodied in the members, but in the neighborhood. As I have been walking around the neighborhood, visiting businesses, and talking with young adults – I have realized that they too share this warmth. However, there still seems to be this search for – community.

Indeed, the young adults here at UNMC are a family that looks forward to engaging others in the DuPont Circle area. I am humbled and honored to be a part of this group. All of the members of the young adult family – including mentors – are utterly significant to the pulse of the church and the community in this area. We are blessed to be led by their vision and commitment.

If you know someone who may be searching, or meet someone on the street/Metro/work or wherever you are – please invite them into our family. We look forward to greeting them at hospitality hour!  Most importantly, we always love drawing the family wider to include more and there is “plenty good room” at this table.

~ Rev. Latte

The Box

2011-12-17T20:02:00.001-05:00

Here is a once in a lifetime offer:

A stranger walks up to your door, rings the door bell and walks away. Inside, you find a box with a message. Later, you find out that if you press the button contained in the box, SOMEONE you DO NOT KNOW SOMEWHERE in the world will die. If you press the box, you will receive one million United States Dollars. If you do not press the button, you will receive one hundred United States Dollars. What do you do?

Just last week, the Young Adults here at UNMC considered this and many other questions after watching the movie, "The Box." We enjoyed baking and eating fresh cookies as well as having a ton of pizza, relaxing in the parlor, and enjoying the fellowship.

Of course, our responses to this question were as varied as the people gathered. Nevertheless, a great time was had by all and we cannot wait until our next movie night.

Come and join us soon for cookies, pizza, fellowship, and fun.

Be ready to answer the question about whether or not you would press the button!

~ Rev. Latte

Is That All There Is?

2010-12-30T10:23:00.000-05:00

Is that all there is, is that all there is

If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing
Let's break out the booze and have a ball
If that's all there is

~ Peggy Lee

Quite simple and profound, a simple question, "is that all there is?"

The times I have listened to this song by Peggy Lee, I was struck by both the simplicity and magnanimity of this question and its implications for Black, queer studs in America.

Reflection of Black Studs
As a Black, womon of center, queer, stud born and raised in a Protestant home, I too struggled with issues of gender and sexuality. How could it be that the God of the universe created such a deep "flaw" and character defects. How could I be that I was so much different from others? How could it be that I was dealt this hand of triple minority status?

Once having the space and time away from parents and given the opportunity to wrestle with questions of gender identity, I finally came in to my own sense of being. But, it was not until one of my best friend's labeled me that I was able to find a sense of liberation in self-identification. She called me a "stud." At first, I was horrified, offended, and down right upset. What did this mean anyway? We continued the conversation and she informed me that the way she perceives me in the world is being a soft, Teddy bear, with a deeply loving heart, who dresses masculinely and wears the pants in the relationship. Well then, I thought to myself, perhaps that is me!

Ever since that conversation in November 2005, I feel like I have a way to articulate my sense of self in this ever-changing world.

This identification, for many, is deeply troubling. I cannot help but wonder why my self-identification, which has been used as a tool for liberation, causes so much grief and despair for others. I am certainly in touch with my femininity, though it is expressed in different ways. More so, I am deeply in touch with my masculinity which I believe many females shy away from.

Because I have decided to consciously live in to my awareness as my full self, others are threatened and upset? Is that all there is to a womon, to be completely subservient? I think not.

Assimilation in Society
One of the hardest tasks of making a conscious decision to show up in the world as a gender bending, somewhat androgynous, Black *soft* stud, is dealing with the ridicule and isolation from others. It is, at times, devastating.

Each day when I wake up in the morning, I have to assess the various social circles in which I will decide to associate and whether the circles are "safe" or "unsafe." Simply meaning, a safe circle being a group of people, friends, and professionals who deeply respect, understand, and support my gender representation. Unsafe circles are those persons who struggle with non-traditional forms of gender expression and may or may not create a hostile environment. Therefore, I have to be extremely discerning with the ways in which I dress and interact with others in the world. Of course, there is a sense of envy and perhaps even a touch of longing to be able to pass in society, but that is not the case.

As a stud, there comes a time, an internal journey, whereas we must prepare ourselves for a radically different lifestyle than what our parents had envisioned for us. There is a time when we must decide if our sexuality is the only portion of our character that will be judged and whether or not we will be swept in to the world of performance arts, poetry, and the queer lifestyle. Is that all there is for studs?

I would suggest that many studs and gender bending persons have found a home with organizations focusing on civil rights, justice, and even religion. Our work and way in the world has led to a sense of both deep liberation and enslavement to a system and people who would always love to "keep things the way they are" and box our spirits into feminine representations of the Eternal Mother. This is not so.

Each day, there is a struggle, journey, a battle on which ways to assimilate into the mainstream culture and which ways to live apart, away from the vast contradictions.

I wonder, if that's all there is?

Separation from Family
A major portion of the Black stud's conscious objections come in the form of separating from the family. I have overwhelmingly noticed many Black studs of color having estranged relationships from the biological and nuclear families. Often this has been due to a variety of religious and cultural beliefs that would suggest life as a Black stud, womon of center, being completely "other than." This is a sad commentary on our ability, as people of color, to embrace the fullness of life. Are gender and sexuality issues ALL there is to a person?

Nevertheless, there is a very real separation from families most times. Over the years and as a result of a myriad of conversations and processing questions and conversations, the stud may return home to a welcoming family, particularly as new generations find their voice. In the interim, this separation from one's biological family is deeply painful and has often led studs to find family in the Community with other like minded studs and femmes who share the same experience.

Re-Orientation to a Chosen Family Unit
In the Psalms (from the Hebrew Bible), there is a pattern of orientation, dis-orientation, and re-orientation. I suggest this pattern and cycle is deeply embedded into the lifespan of many queer folk, especially Black Studs.

As a young, queer womon of center is growing up there is a sense of orientation to one's family values. These values, standards, and mores influence the way this young people will contribute to the larger societal community. After coming out, there is generally a sense of disappointment, elation, joy, and sadness. Generally, the initial family unit has suffered a blow from the news that their daughter is now adhering to the feminine standards of womonhood. After this time, the stud goes out in to the world, engages others, and finds a firm grounding of self. In this period of grounding and searching, the stud often pulls in folk who act as older/younger brothers, sisters, and other family members. Thus, creating an intentional, loving, supportive network that many people, frankly, do not have.

This is the pattern of orientation, dis-orientation, and re-orientation that is lived out so many times in our lives as Black studs.

Is that all there is to building a family? Making a conscious decision to be surrounded by those who understand the depths of your personality, self, and spirituality (among other factors) can lead to the development of a family unit.

I started by suggesting the simplicity and magnanimity of the question, "is that all there is?" with reference to Black, queer, womon of center, studs in America. Yes, that's all there is. We are persons who have made a conscious decision to show up in the world as transparently and authentically as possible. Very simple. On another level, there is a great deal of self-sacrifice, introspection, and re-orientation due to the decision to appear in the world in this particular way.

Yes, that's all there is.

And Where Do We Begin?

2010-02-15T08:37:00.001-05:00

After the Egyptian and Indian, the Greek and Roman, the Teuton and Mongolian, the Negro is a sort of seventh son, born with a veil, and gifted with second-sight in this American world,--a world which yields him no true self-consciousness, but only lets him see himself through the revelation of the other world. It is a peculiar sensation, this double-consciousness, this sense of always looking at one's self through the eyes of others, of measuring one's soul by the tape of a world that looks on in amused contempt and pity. One ever feels his twoness,--an American, a Negro; two warring souls, two thoughts, two unreconciled strivings; two warring ideals in one dark body, whose dogged strength alone keeps it from being torn asunder. ~ W.E.B. DuBois

A peculiar sensation….feeling ones twoness…. Two thoughts, two unreconciled strivings, two warring ideals in one dark body…..

DuBois hits the nail on the head here. During the time of DuBois, a major socio-political dichotomy existed between whites and Blacks in America. How does one struggle with the merging of various identities at the very core of their existence? Indeed, we are all pure-breed…..mongrels seeking to understand ourselves in the reflection of others – yes. But there comes a time that we know ourselves for ourselves. And with this realization, this epiphanal moment, is a deep sense of satisfaction and purpose. But is it true that only with self-actualization can one then move towards altruism?

I have written about this DuBoisian 1903 passage many times but have truly engaged it recently in trying to help others understand themselves in a world of hyper-sensitivity and ultra-classification. Yesterday in Church we preached on Love – Knowing Oneself through a deeper relationship with Jesus in the midst of socio-political binary oppositions.

Christian and queer. This is perhaps one of the most prevalent two unreconciled strivings, two warring ideas, trapped in one body and soul that people must face in the twenty-first century. This is indeed a long journey to understanding oneself completely and being able to find unity in this dichotomous struggle. But where do we begin?

Gender Lines in Sports

2009-10-26T23:34:00.002-04:00

“Gender Lines in Sports”

Growing up – I loved playing Basketball, Football, and even Baseball. At an early age, I did not realize that these were predominately male-dominated sports. I had two older brothers and a father who were very active in sports. My Uncles were active in sports…so this was a natural progression.

When beginning to play recreational basketball, I was encouraged to play with the “boys” teams for the first few years because I was too rough. This distinction between boys and girls became clearer as I aged and realized there were a submissive and less aggressive, perhaps even less passionate environment for girls’ sports, particularly girls’ basketball. The adjustment for me was always quite difficult and I am not sure I ever quite assimilated. Sure, I was as talented as anyone else on the court, but I had a dogged strength, perseverance, drive, and motivation which often distinguished me from others.

It was on the basketball court that I learned about life, relating to others, building relationships, and committing. Being a part of a team provided me opportunities to interact with other persons with whom I may have never interacted. The lines between race and class disappeared, if only for one and a half to two hours on a Thursday night and on a Saturday morning. Sometimes, I was lucky and blessed enough to see these friends and team members on Sunday afternoons for travel basketball games as well. In high school, I played ball and practiced with these young women everyday. But still, there was something different by being the only Black person on the team –on a team of heterosexual, middle to upper class, white young ladies.

Can you imagine how it felt to come out to some of your teammates in your sophomore year of high school? Needless to say, this was a very isolating experience. I was blessed to have had the friendship of my neighborhood friends on the team.

What did this say about gender lines?

As an adult, I have often considered this and my involvement with sports as a youth and young adult playing rugby in college. I have wondered if I would have been cut from the basketball team if I had tried out for the boys’ basketball team - - - the standards are much different. The opportunities for career advancement, networking opportunities, and exposure would have been great.

Now, as a nation we consider how our Commander in Chief interacts with women in these often exclusive sporting events. Creating this team and a healthy sense of camaraderie and competition is unrivaled. You carry these moments and memories in your heart for a lifetime. Teams bond on the court and off the court. Friends turn into family members and you begin to share the resources that are shared. I remember an opportunity to play basketball with the men of my home Church against the members of the Baltimore radio station 92Q. This provided us with access and a great networking opportunity. At the game, gender roles were reinforced in women and young girls acting as cheerleaders. These women and young girls were not seen as comrades but accents and played into this submissive role. Are the women in the Obama administration playing a submissive role?

I wonder what a world would be like where there is no distinction in the world of sports. How would this encourage people to intensify their skills? I would hope that by the time my little cousins are older they would be able to have and enjoy sports leagues that promote gender-inclusive teams, particularly in high school and college. For you see, these distinctions create a sense of worth that is false and allow systemic oppression of women who wish to succeed and excel in professional sports. It goes without saying that the salaries of women in professional sports are significantly lower than men. Female coaches are paid less; with the exception of the phenomenal Pat Head Summitt of the University of Tennessee-Knoxville. But things must change as our society and world is changing – we are no longer a society of male and female – we are as diverse as the day is long. We must begin changing these gender exclusive sporting events at the most basic levels, in Parks and Recreation, to allow the dis-ordering and deconstruction of gender privileged sporting opportunities, which often lead to paths of vocational success and identity.

Accommodation Rights

2009-10-21T11:49:00.000-04:00

Accommodation Rights

Since the very inception of considering a new nation, people have struggled for accommodation rights. Blacks have won efforts towards this end via the signage and passage of various Civil Rights Acts. Without a doubt, there are miles to go to ensuring true liberation for the oppressed from the oppressor.

Interestingly enough, a class on Black Christology has considered the responsibility of the oppressed to work with the oppressors for liberation. If and when liberation is gained, what would reconciliation look like? How would the oppressed go about the act of forgiveness? And what does repentance look like on behalf of the oppressors?

We find ourselves under the veil of discrimination, prejudice, bias, and bigotry. As a Black, lesbian woman in a same-gender loving relationship, I believe it is my responsibility to work with oppressors who maintain heterosexist and homophobic beliefs. It is my calling to work towards liberation and ensuring justice for all persons, including the queer community. But what of those who are not open to this type of transformative conversation and desire to maintain the status quo? What of the leaders of these Christian communities who are called pastors, but refuse to minister and shepherd all of the sheep?

This is the predicament. My indictment is that the Black Church as a movement is oppressing, particularly queer persons. No, this is not a new charge but one that is being played out in our culture and socialization of our people, especially our young. My recent point of departure has been listening to Praise 104.1 in Washington, D.C. I enjoy listening to the early morning show with Yolanda Adams and whenever I can throughout the day. After much consideration, I have been able to move past the patriarchal language and lack of inclusive language. This is all too common place in the Black Christian community. Even from recording artists who, themselves, are homosexual, bi-sexual, and queer. Case in point, Tonex.

The Queer Community is indeed engaged in a battle not just for Accommodation Rights, but the right to live and to the pursuit of happiness. Just a few months ago, a Black lesbian couple was targeted and gunned down while sleeping in their bed. Hate crimes towards Black queer people increase, yet as a community, the Black Church does nothing but condemn and uphold a stance of bigoted idolatry. The Black Church has made a false God of heterosexual privileged and heteronormative behaviors. Who is the God of the Black Church? What then is the mission of Christians who follow the preaching and teaching of these Black pastors that allow hatred to spew from their lips and those that indoctrinate a spirit of hate and fear towards thy neighbor? No, this is nto a Church called to bear truth to the ministry of Jesus Christ. For Christ did not distinguish between socially constructed ideas of race, gender, sexual orientation, or another other human made distinction used for oppression. Indeed, it is time to reclaim the true message of the gospel – the Christian love ethic that conquers, transcends, and transforms all.

Today as I was driving in for my class, James Baldwin as Social Critic and Theologian, I was horribly upset by the incessant announcements to rally the Black Community to protest against Marriage Equality. This sounded absolutely ridiculous, that the Black community, a group of oppressed people, would continue to actively pursue the oppression of Brothers, Sisters, Mothers, Fathers, Nieces, Nephews, Cousins, - our family, our people.

And yet, some contend that this act would be defending heterosexual marriage. Is this not a country where inalienable rights are to be upheld? Is this not a country that allows for freedom, liberty, and equality? Or have we truly reached the day when rhetoric is Queen and thoughts of a Beloved Community live only in the reality of our dreaming? Won't someone tell me please?

DC for Marriage Equality will be worshipping at Asbury United Methodist Church on Thursday, October 29, 2009 from 7-9 PM. I would hope the queer community, particularly the Black queer community would come out in support. I hope silent allies will find a voice and stand up for the ministry to which they proclaim to have been called: standing on the side of the oppressed, ministering to the "Other", and setting the captives free.

The Audacity of Hype, Part One

2009-10-09T09:54:00.003-04:00

I wake up this morning to read, “Obama has won Nobel Peace Prize” and was absolutely stunned. At first, I thought this was some kind of sick and deranged joke, why would anyone joke about such an honor as that? But then, after scanning through various Facebook statuses and looking on the web, I realized that this indeed was true.

It goes without saying, but must be mentioned again, I did not vote for Barack Obama and do not support his administration. I think he is one heck of a politician who knows how to manipulate people, instill a false sense of “hope”, and act like progress and change will come. I am disappointed that so many people believed that one man, as president, would be able to “change the world.” No, Barack Obama never intended to change and influence politics, he promised to be a president of the people and give, “hope.”

What happens when this hope is not enough? Hope does not close the gap between the disparity between women’s wages and men’s wages – though the Ledbetter Act was a nice gesture. Hope does certainly not disrupt the Cradle to Prison Pipeline that Mr. Obama is very familiar with as a Illinois State Senator and due to his workings with the Children’s Defense Fund. Yes, we are in a healthcare crisis and now H1N1 is affecting our children without health insurance and innumerable vulnerable children and elderly have perished in this country. Hope does not restore their lives. This weekend, as the LGBT community gathers in our Nation’s Capital, we indeed have a hope for a equal and just future, but this is not the hope that Mr. Obama preached to the dull masses who consumed his fiery antics without a critical eye. This is the hope that emerged out of a struggled, out of being marginalized, oppressed, and living on the periphery.

One of my professors at school challenged me when I said, “what happens when theology is not sufficient.” This professor truly read the underlying context of my question and replied, “Any question of human relations is a question of theology.” Well. The Queer community has been beaten, brutalized, disenfranchised, marginalized, ridiculed, and forced to live a life as “the Other.” We are able to find unity because of our common suffering. Dr. Jahair Jabir writes and discusses this idea in many of his classes and it is very significant and poignant in this discussion. The type of “hope” Mr. Obama mentions is not that of liberation from our collective struggle but rather one of transcendence and vaguely remembering our predecessors and not fully engaging our past. No, this is not hope but as one of my colleagues and FTE fellows mentions, “hype.”

My queer family must not support Barack Obama because he has not and will not champion our rights while in office. Essentially, Mr. Obama’s hands are tied and he will not do anything to upset the status quo nor jeopardize his re-election. To identify with the experience of the oppressed, and enter into their suffering means living a life of truly being the “Other.” Though Mr. Obama often tries to make people believe he is “other” by being bi-racial, white and African, he has lived a life of privilege and had access to education from some of the world’s finest institutions. He has not identified with the “Other” – with us. We will put a pin in this point of “race” for another day.

Obama wins the Nobel Prize for what exactly? A false sense of hope, misleading of a people, conversations that meander from the sensitive topics which he has been called on to discuss? I am not quite sure. Yes, he has been a decent administrator but people continue to die on his watch, both at home and abroad. People mocked Madame Hillary Rodham Clinton when she proposed the very same health bill that is being discussed. She has championed the rights of women and children for decades and relentlessly fought for the “Other” but stands in the shadow of a political mongrel and giant.

No friends, for me, Mr. Obama does not symbolize hope but is the embodiment of this American hype which continues to kill the most vulnerable in our communities, re-enforce systemic violence and poverty, and maintain paradigms of dominance and inequality. I believe that the weight of the Nobel Prize has most certainly diminished in my eyes and never again will I be able to think of this award with the same regard.

What is the cost of life?

2009-09-28T16:45:00.002-04:00

Many of my close friends know that I suffer from Inter Cranial Hypertension, also known as Pseduo Tumor Cerebri. This is a swelling of fluids in the spinal cord.... now, my partner and I have realized this is due largely in part to being on the Depo Provera shot for seven consecutive years.

Well, clearly I still have lingering issues from this and need to seek medical treatment and hospitalization from time to time. It is only by the grace of God that I can function, see, and process. There was a time when my vision was very weak and I was loosing motor skills. Now, I am able to sit down and write this blog.

Recent debates in this country have me thinking. My partner and I were just discussing what to do if a family member is sick and needs to seek medical care but knows that seeking this attention will be costly and amount to debt. Add to that: this family member has not been able to seek employment for the last few months and you are already living paycheck to paycheck.... What is there to do?

Together, as a couple, we had to face these decisions and time and time again, I went to seek medical attention. Finally, a diagnosis was made, but this was thousands of dollars later. Though deductibles have now been met, we are paying medical bills from almost three years ago. Was it worth it? Is it worth living in a society that makes you question the value of your life? Is it even worth the consideration to allow a sickness and disease to fester in your body because you cannot afford the type of medical care you know you need? Realizing that you and a friend/partner/spouse/loved one would have to go with you, take time off work (if they are blessed to be employed) and continue to rack up the cost.

Most assuredly, I am a supporter of universal healthcare and the single-payer option. How would we then treat pre-existing bills and pre-existing medical. Though my health insurance provider has raised prices thrice since being enrolled, I cannot switch to another provider because they will not cover pre-existing medical. The current insurance is going back and forth as to what they will cover. . . How then, do you survive in a society that is killing you?

Breaking Cycles

2009-09-08T01:00:00.000-04:00

I can only speak for myself when I say that there are certain cycles and behaviors that my family exhibits and I truly wonder if my generation will be that which will break the cycle of ... X ....

As a c/Church family we have cycles of hatred, abuse, mis-treatment, all the isms, and a myriad of other issues. We are in our "Senior" year of Seminary at Wesley and many, if not all of us, are entering ministry settings with some aspect of pastoral authority. At these settings, there will be issues and conflicts around politics, opinions, finances, and the list most certainly continues. Tensions will rise just as sure as we receive sunshine. And as the pastor, we must manage and negotiate relational contracts between people daily.

But will our generation be that which will break the myths, stereotypes, expectations, and rigidity people desire and assume in the pastorate? Can we transcend the barriers that our congregations, denominations, and even this new generation of leaders created?

Are we ready to live into the "delicious ambiguity" and truly trust that God is.?

~ one luv

Us and Them?

2009-09-03T12:41:00.000-04:00

Why are we afraid of evanglicals and why are evangelicals afraid of us?

What is it about this “us” versus “them” divide and language that makes tow bodies of believers incapable of uniting for the purposes of transformative love and restoring justice and healing brokenness in a hopeless world?

Who is this “us” – who is this “them” – you may wonder.

Well, as you may be able to tell school is back in session at Wesley Theological Seminary and we are already off to great discussions, debates, and conversations. I thouroughly enjoy spending time with all of my friends, colleagues, professors, and adminstrators.

On yesterday, once friend and I were discussing the “Emerging Movement.” In my observation, this has been a predominately white, middle to upper class, male dominated movement. As was learned on yesterday, it is a very intellectual movement and females are beginning to join the conversation. However, people of color are still grossly left out of the picture or have not arrived on the scene.

Friends or foes of the LGBT community?

I have realized that it is easy to “label” another group of persons “exclusive” when believing that same label will not be applied to yourself. No, I am most certainly not a single-issue person but a single issue of my life affects the quality of my life. Largely, members of the Emerging Movement are not inclusive and embracing of persons of 1) racial/ethnic minorities and 2) queer persons. Therefore, it is easy to say that they are “conservative evangelicals.” And that may be the case, but my life was changed by one of the aforementioned persons.

The “love the sinner, hate the sin” comment is extremely hurtful and harmful. It is indeed oppressive. There are, of course, queer persons involved with the Emerging Churches. There is space for us to come, worship, and encounter God, yet the theology is so oppressive. I have noticed that the theologies of many of these “new church starts” is so focused on dramatic stories of sin and redemption through salvation. There is this love the sinner mentality and the patriarchal language in the songs, worship, praise, and fabric of these groups is indeed – oppressive.

So how do we all work together to bridge this divide? Clearly, the Emerging Movements as a response to the conservatism, evangelicalism, and revivalism…. But even still, people are coming, being “saved,” and finding community.

How can we all work together? Can we?

Jesus...the...Christ?

2009-09-01T19:11:00.000-04:00

Today in class, Jesus Christ in the African American Christian Tradition, we discussed Christology – the personhood and divinity of Christ. We discussed this in relation to sotierology – the idea of salvation, as specifically related to Christ. Clearly, this is a great class in which we are always thinking about issues of liberation, the marginalized, and oppressed persons of our society – particularly as these issues are related disproportionately to racial/ethnic minorities. As we discuss issues of racism, classic, and sexism in seminaries and institutions of higher learning, we often miss – whether knowledgeably or not – heterosexism and homophobia. As Dr. Ringe says, “which voices are silent…which voices are those that we are not hearing?” And from the sidelines I continue to articulate the points of womanism, especially as I call the B.L.L.T. – Black Lesbian Liberation Theology. Indeed, it is important raise the voice of the Black lesbians but also our transgendered family members.

So who is Jesus, the one who we celebrate as the Christ, for the Black Lesbian Community?

Historically, the “Invisible Institution” grew out of a need for an oppressed people to have an arena for their deep spirituality to be expressed. After the Civil War and during “Reconstruction” the Black Church developed and provided a view of Jesus Christ as a Liberator, a Savior, a Bridge of Troubled Waters, a Balm in Gilead, a Hope When Days are Long and Weary, a Great Reconciler, To Whom We Can Steal Away, A Great Wonder Worker, and I am sure the list continues….. And of course, we can end any sermon in the Black Church today with this list and get tons of hand claps, hoops, hollas, and people falling out because Jesus is still this person, this Divine Power for many people.

Dr. Beverly E. Mitchell presses the issues further with us and encourages us to ask and answer the questions about who Jesus is for our current generation. This of course brings the question of THEODICY – if God is all powerful, all loving, etc. then why do we suffer, why is there pain? Why is there oppression?

For me, I cannot say that Jesus is irrelevant – but there was a point in my life when my Christology was much higher. I could not imagine not praying to “Father God,” or “to the Son of God.” I could not imagine crying out to Jesus. As we grow in our theological understandings and learnings, as we articulate our own notions of self as creatures of the Most High Divine, it is important to assess and re-assess. I believe that we, as Black Lesbians, can use the historical lessons taught by the One from Galilee in order to provide guidelines for our lives as we engage ministry to and with others. I wonder, is Jesus really necessary for our salvation?

Out of the depths of my mother’s womb I cry into the deep wilderness of countless faces, imitating the semblance of humanity, their slippery cold hands turn me away….

With each vibration and beat of my heart, these – these my people – push me against the wall Claude but I stand strong fighting back

From the pulpits and screams of exaltation but yet, slumping in the pew battered by your words and mis-educated theology… what is that we call an uneducated person of color… and yet you say – To God be the Glory, and at the peace we are supposed to hug one another?

I invite your response to who this man named Jesse from Galilee means to the Black Lesbian community today – as we fight and survive against patriarchy, sexism, classism, racism, and homophobia.

Does it matter for our community whether or not this man named Jesus was resurrected???

Does it matter for our community that this homeboy from the Ghetto, much like the ‘hoods of Autin-Peay, or West Baltimore, never sinned?

Does it matter for our community that Jesus “is” “fully-human” and “fully Divine?” What does this mean?

Can we identify with someone who historically walked this earth but never once sinned and this was apparently not in his DNA to do so?

Let’s answer these questions together as a village and have a fuller understanding of who we are, in light of the Gospel?

(and yes, I sound like Dr. Soulen! And that’s not such a bad thing after all…..)

Separation of Church and State

2009-08-24T09:59:00.003-04:00

What are your thoughts on this?

I believe that there needs to be, fundamentally, a separation between Church Institutions and Politicians and Government. For far too long, conversations regarding this issued have focused on Christianity and in recent years, the involvement of the Religious Right in terms of policy making. We have witnessed how over time this involvement has caused detrimental affects to our society. As a racial/ethnic minority and a Black Lesbian woman, I speak out of personal experience on this particular issue. The involvement of the Religious Right in the policy making of our country has and will continue to be oppressive if something is not done.

But what?

I was at a Black United Methodist Church on yesterday; there will always be a special place for this Church in my heart. However, I was a bit put-off by the oppressive theology and patriarchal language in hymns, songs, and prayers. Perhaps I cannot be too judgmental because quite frankly, many persons in the Black Church experience are not taught about liberation theology and inclusive language. Perhaps this would be a great ministry opportunity?! Nevertheless, this theology often aligns with the Religious Right for reasons that are unexplainable. As Black persons of the African Diaspora, why would it make logical sense to align ourselves with the theology of persons who have historically been oppressors?

At this Church on yesterday, the Invitation to Christian Discipleship was extended. Indeed, this invitation was moving and touching as the Congregation sang, "Lead Me, Guide Me" - but once again, I was a bit taken aback. The woman extending the invitation said that if we do not accept Jesus Christ as our Personal Lord and Saviour, we would not have eternal life. Well, what about Hindus, Muslims, our Jewish Friends, etc.?

Taken into the context of schools.... we offer "moments of silence" but is this disingenuous? Do we make space for our friends to pray multiple times a day? Or accommodate differing food and dietary habits?

We will release our Christian privilege in this country and take, "In God We Trust" off of our currency? Could the exchange of currency be oppressive for persons who do not believe in the Christian God?

Perhaps I asked more questions and answered nothing… and I reiterate… what are your thoughts on this?

Who Is Me?

2009-04-17T07:24:00.001-04:00

I wish tomorrow was yesterday

So I could take back all the mean things I did

I wish I could take way the pain I caused to many

And the confusion I gave to more

These actions are not like me

These do not show who I want to be

But this is my life

And the unfortunate reality

I do not know who I am anymore

Trying to be everyone's friend

And lend a hand

When I can

Sure I am funny

I can make people laugh

BUt when can I have fun

And enjoy life?

Mischevious and Devious

Always trying to beat the game

Try to find "the easy way out"

No matter what's right

The sensitive and kind me

That's the me I want to be

Why can't I though?

Who is "me?"

We can't forget the outgoing, reliable me

The one who's responsible and organized

The one you turned to when you are down

The one who can help you be found

But now

I ask you again

Who is Me?

It seems I do not know

I finally realized something

I truly do not know who the me you what me to be is?

Whether this is good, or bad

Happy or sad

It's me

The actions I make

Our alien as can be

They are from an artificial persons

Someone who is not the me I should be

As I lay here now

And think about all the times in my life

Especially the ones causing pain and sorrow

Was that me?

So many me?s

Split...personalities

Is me the me I get to set free?

Or the one living in this distorted reality?

"Me" has so many things to do

Who are "me's" real friends?

Does me has friends - family

How will we know if we don't know who me is:

I do know one thing

The ",e" I tink I am is sorry

Me, wants to start over

And just try again

Believe in my pleas

Maybe they are tirades

Who knows

Maybe you can help me find me

Tonight I realized

How lost I really was

The innumerable ways I am alone and different

And how I do not know the real me

All these years

It took me to figure this out

People were telling me the whole time

But what they didn't tell me was

They were expecting

Preparing

This child

To be the "me" they wanted

So now I have a new journey

Desination unknown

I must find out

Who Is Me?

This was written some years ago but feel free to leave some comments and luv.

Has the Church caused you to question who you are?
Who are you in the light of God?
In what ways can the essence of who you are only be seen in the reflection of others?

Invincible Dignity

2009-04-17T07:23:00.001-04:00

Undestroyable

Incorruptible

Nothing stands in the way

Nothing can destroy

Invincible dignity

So proud and happy

So big and broad

Nothing can stop it

Nothing ever will

Invincible Dignity

Where can you buy it?

Where is it from?

Who made it?

and

How come?

Invincible Dignity

Comes from a special place

No one can take away

If you simply do what's right

Anything could happen

Invincible Dignity

Some's utopian dream

The handicapps of man could not hold you down

You'd be floating

Off the ground

Invincible Dignity

Such a wonderful thing

Always happy

And confident

Knowing who the real me is

Invincible Dignity

Really cannot be adequately described

How can you possibly articulate

What one only hopes to possess

Such a trivial feat some may say

Invincible Dignity

Only comes from one Pure

But not for free

It must be earned and it is a privilege

Easily lost if not defended

Invincible

Dignity

Once again, this was written a few years back with a modern update. I bring it back to our conversation in order to elicit some responses about the worth of human dignity.

Often when people assume characteristics or make assumptions about the dignity of another by placing them in boxes, this is extremely isolating and can make attempts to strip a person of their innate createdness and dignity.

As we continue to support each other and think of our Sistahs who are somebody - where you are a lesbian, queer, supportive/ally, or even someone who is not supportive - please do not strip someone's dignity and do not make assumptions.

Someone wrote me a very impassioned email today about her desires to work with incarcerated young African American women but the stereotypes she must overcome because of her socio-economic status.

Let us all meet all the well together, in search for our Invincible Dignity.

Watts

2009-04-17T07:18:00.001-04:00

There was a riot in Watts today

I said there was a riot

In Watts

Today

Less than twenty minutes away

As we drove past in our cars

To the city of L.A.

There was a riot in the city of Watts today

It always amazed me the collective power

Black people used to have

We were able to cultivate our energy

And change the world

It used to amaze me

The way we were able to galvanize

And enact change

Just by walking, protesting,

Civil Dis - Obedience

But now

We are cowards

My generation

Is plagued like a group of degenerates with paralysis

I said there was a riot in Watts today

But for some of us

There is no other alternative

Sistah child

Sistah Woman

We know the internal anger

We know the internal fear

We know what it is like to be silenced

What know what it is like to scream out

For we know what it was like

In the late 1960s

When towns were orange and red

Riots - on Fire - Riots - On Fire - RIOTS

I said, there was a riot in Watts today

Sistah told me that I needed to channel this energy

"It's okay to be mad," she said

"You are entitled"

But what happens when an entitlement is no longer a privilege?

What happens when our collective energy

Becomes displaced inertia

When we are unable

To riot

It is time Sistahs

It is time to light our eternal torches

To reclaim our Queendoms

It is time to take Back our Nights

It is time to recpature the Essence of our Beings

It is time for Revolution

I said it is time!

It is time for Sistahood

There was a riot in Watts today

I said there was a riot

In Watts

Today

Less than twenty minutes away

As we drove past in our cars

To the city of L.A.

There was a riot in the city of Watts today

But while you were driving by me

Rolling up your windows

To my pleas

And tuning me out

I was just getting started

For this riot burns within

And can never be extinguished

I am the Dream, the Fire Next Time

Yes, there is a Fire in Watts

Burning,

Right Now

This was just written as I was watching the evening news thinking about the homicides in Baltimore City and the ways in which the Black Lesbian community, and many other communities, are stereotyped and how we have as Black persons, lost our collective power and sensibilities at times. In which ways can we better resource each others? In which ways can we meet at the center of the well? In which ways are you ready and willing to dedicate your time and efforts to the eternal fire that burns within us from our Divine Most High God?

Purple and Blue

2009-04-17T06:58:00.003-04:00

Domestic Violence

I would really like you to comment on the Forum on the "Luv" page on how you feel about this particular topic as it affects so many in the Black lesbian community.

What's Your Name, Little Girl?

2009-04-17T06:57:00.001-04:00

Yes, the above mentioned is from Lynrd Skynrd.

Someone asked me today what Rah Zami means. Of course, to find out you will have to send me an email and get to know me and perhaps then I can let you know! :)

But I ask you - what's your name.

As I continue to grow in my own theological and philosophical views of the world, I realize we are all children of the Most High Son/Sun. We are called to be in community with each other and let our light be seen through the love and light expressed in the sacrifice of Jesus as the Incarnate God through us.

So what is your name? You are a Sistah Somebody!

At any point throughout the day, your appearance, language, and most certainly persona are being analyzed in a myriad of ways. I challenge you to be mindful of tihs and be intentional about the way in which you are being perceived throughout the day in being compliant with being a beloved child of God.

We must remember that nothing can separate us from the love of God, not even one's sexual identity. Therefore, Sistahs, though others would have you believe something different, John Wesley believes in prevenient grace. This is the grace that is offered to persons before we were even brought to existence. And through spiritual respiration - breathing in the light and life of God, and exhaling negative energy; we are able to become closer in the realization of this Beloved Community. Our name therefore is a reflection of the prevenient grace and spiritual reformation lived out in the reconciled Beloved Community, God's project - the basileia.

You are - a child of God.

You are a Sistah! Somebody.

~ one luv

Are You the Face?

2009-04-17T06:56:00.001-04:00

Sistahs!

Thanks for the luv and support. Keep sending your comments in.

With a few stolen moments before a preaching class, I recommend for your reading, "The Lesbian in Front of the Classroom Writings by Lesbian Teachers." It is over two decades old but quite powerful and speaks today.

In one of the stories, a white Lesbian talks about her experience teaching an African American (Black) diversity course. She selected a reading from Mother Audre Lorde and this quote came to the forefront, "Perhaps for some of you here today I am the face of one of your fears. Because I am woman, because I am Black, because I am lesbian, because I am myself." (p.51)

I encourage you to continually be yourself regardless of the mess and obstacles that may attempt to prohibit you from your calling. On this day, tarry with God, the Most High, just for a little while and feel the warm embrace. Fall into brace and enjoy Sweet Communion with your neighbors. I encourage you on this day to continually be the face that challenges the status quo, speaks truth to power, and liberates minds. On this day, know your purpose - write your vision on tablets and make it plain for all to see.

May the Peace, Luv, and Warmth of God be with your Faces and Spirits.

~ Rah

Sistah Somebody

2009-04-17T06:54:00.002-04:00

Hey All,

As a part of my Fund for Theological Education 2009 Summer Ministry Project, check out my blog at http://www.sistahsomebody.info/sistahsomebody-blogspot.php.

This will have the most up-to-date blogs.

Most certainly, I will try to post everything on here as well that way you can interact and post comments.

Thanks for your support!

Rah

Confessions of a Meth Addict

2009-03-19T14:56:00.003-04:00

I admit it, there is no more hiding from this and it burns inside me...

I am an addict.

Hello, my name is Rah.

In retrospect, I realize how this addiction became worse and worse as I began to age. When I was in college, I thought I conquered this addiction and would be freed. But it got worse. Now, I feel called in a very special, unique, and divine way. I need to help others - not out of their addictions - but in to this addiction with me. Because once you are hooked on Meth, you can never turn back.

Some people try to walk away from Meth. Others disown Meth and try to feed their innermost being in other ways. But I love Meth, even when Meth does not love me.

I am sure you are all dumbfounded, in disbelief, and absolutely cannot believe that the person you know has been struggling with this addiction for the entirety of my life.

But I am afraid friends, so are you.

That's right, my name is Rah and I am addicted to Meth - The United Methodist Church.

There's something about worshipping with a group of United Methodists who are also other "Meth Addicts." It just lifts the soul and you can feel the presence of the Creator as we inhale the Divine and are reaffirmed that there is indeed something about the name of Jesus.

There's something about breaking bread and fellowshipping with other "Meth Addicts" and the realization that just as we sit, each, drink, live, and breathe; just as we sacrifice and give of ourselves for others; just as we exist - there came someone who gave all so that we may have life and have it more abundantly. The true Gospel message is that God is.

See, the more I try to inch away from the Methodist Church, the more I am drawn in. And I love her dearly.

Being a disciple of the Most High in this current day context means being certain about who you are and transparent in your witness. My mother bought me a No Fear shirt some years back and it read, "If you're not living on the edge then you are taking up too much space." If you are not living on the edge ready to let go of everything, surrender, and fall into the presence of the One who loved us before we were even conceived, then perhaps you are taking up too much space for Meth Addicts such as myself.

I was addicted to Meth so much that in some of my weakest moments, that is all I had. At the zeniths of my life, Meth was there. And, much to my mother's dismay at first, I have a constant reminder of my addiction, my love for Meth on my right arm.

At a conference we were reminded that all the "amness" that we are begins and ends with God. Even Meth Addicts are made in the image of the Potter. Even Meth Addicts are able to stand in the middle of the garden.

So you too, no matter where you are - Meth Addict or not - are a child of Love.

And which is more just?

2009-03-02T17:25:00.002-05:00

I have been most certainly struggling with a which in which to faithfully live my calling into ordained, pastoral ministry in the United Methodist Church.

This Saturday I went to a Connectional Table meeting at the Conference Center and the theme was "call." Bishop said that our call and living into this "sweet spot" allows us to be satisfied. Our call is our purpose and only sometimes does our vocation match up with our call. Indubitably, I most certainly feel fulfilled when preaching and teaching. But also, there is a satisfaction when standing on the lines pushing the edges of social justice for the marginalized.

While away at the Samuel DeWitt Proctor Conference I spent time in fellowship and introspective reflection. Many doors were opened, some of which I thought were closed. A good friend told me to pray that the doors that needed to be opened would be opened and God would close the ones that needed to close. Well, I have been praying this and God has been speaking to my heart.

In class this past week, one of my professors called me out. He asked me why I should go in through the back door of a church that I love instead of being fully transparent about who I was and knocking down doors of injustice. He called me out on loving Harlem Renaissance persons but then not really wanting to take up the injustice in my current context. This Saturday at the Connectional Table the pastor leading worship asked, "where have I been less than transparent, where have I not been honest, and where have I not realize the blessings in my life?" We were all asked to reflect on these issues for awhile.

Towards the end of the worship service, we were asked to come and receive prayer to help us live into our call, we sang the song, "The Summons." At first, I did not want to go up for prayer and looked at those around me. As the other young adults moved forward, i also moved forward and listened to te words of inspiration from the Bishop. However, after the prayer and at the beginning of lunch, I felt a cold warmness in the room from persons that I used to know and those who thought they used to know me. Was my time up in the UMC? Is it worth fighting the good fight? Am I really the one to change a denominational stance?

Being in the UMC at this point is like an abusive relationship. I love the Church and the Church loves and affirms parts of me. But yet,s he beats me down with the heterosexisma nd homophobic language and practices. For some reason, i keep coming back for more, and more, without trying to leave the situation and end the cycle of violence. Some say that doing the same thing over again and expecting a different result is insanity.

Perhaps.

WWJD? What Would John Do?

John Wesley protested the Anglican Church and started a new denomination, a movement to include the poor and marginalized. We are far from the Church that Wesley envisioned.

So which is more just? To go through the back door of a Church being less than fully transparent about who I am in order to possibly affect change? Thus drastically submitting another life to a closeted, disconnected lifestyle and dissatisfaction that we could not worship and fellowship together. OR, move with God and listen to a denomination that believes God is still speaking. A denomination that will openly and warmly accept and nurture me, an acceptance and nurture that has been so desparately craved from my home Church denomination? Which is more just? Fight for injustice by being less than or being truly who I am and leaving a corrupt institution?

Yes my ebony sister, this is much more than a double-consciousness, but what is keeping me from being pulled asunder?

“It is a peculiar sensation, this double-consciousness, this sense of always looking at one's self through the eyes of others, of measuring one's soul by the tape of a world that looks on in amused contempt and pity.”

“One ever feels his twoness-an American, a Negro; two souls, two thoughts, two unreconciled strivings; two warring ideals in one dark body, whose dogged strength alone keeps it from being torn asunder.”

The Damnation of Women in the 21st Century

2009-02-01T17:52:00.001-05:00

The world wants healthy babies and intelligent workers. … Only at the sacrifice of intelligence and the change to do their best work can the majority of the modern women bear children. This is the damnation of women./All womanhood is hampered today because the world on which it is emerging is a world that tries to worship both virgins and mothers and in the end despises motherhood and despoils virgins./The future woman must have a life work and economic independence. She must have knowledge. She must have the right of motherhood at her own discretion. … ~ excerpt from W.E.B. DuBois: A Reader edited by David levering Lewis, page 300.

This week was full of excitement and mixed emotions, especially in our Nation's capitol, Washington, the District of Columbia. As a student of theology at Wesley Theological Seminary, an intern at the General Board of Church and Society, and an employee of JUSTPEACE Center for Mediation and Conflict Transformation; most of my waking time is spent in the District. I meet and interact with people from all different walks of life with a plethora of ideologies and belief systems. In some majestic way, there has been a renewal because we all feel united as "purple" (I like to say orange) Americans.

But there was a striking change for me as I walked to work on the Hill at the Methodist Building two days after the inauguration of Barack Obama – the international symbol of post-racialism. Indubitably, I knew there would be an increased and heightened sense of security, but I was astounded that people were lingering in the District sight-seeing and living in the "moment." As I approached my building, I realized there was a large presence of U.S. Capitol police, cameras, and even protestors. The Methodist Building is the only religious organization to own property on Capitol Hill and we are situated between the Supreme Court, across the street from the Capitol, and a short walk from the Library of Congress and various Senate and House Office Buildings; it is without certainty an exciting atmosphere for a Political Science major such as myself.

On this particular day I noticed a small group of approximately five hundred people gathered outside of the Supreme Court. At first glance, it appeared as if they were protesting the Proposition Eight ruling, I must admit, my heart was elated. After showing the appropriate identification, I entered the building and headed to the third floor conference room. Within twenty minutes, approximately twenty-thousand pro-life protestors gathered around the Capitol, Supreme Court, and even the Methodist Building to protest Barack Obama's stance on Abortion and the Supreme Court decision to uphold Roe v. Wade.

Perhaps this is my bias but when I glanced in to the crowd on various occasions, I realized there was no ethnic minority representation. Also, there was only a small, rather insignificant scattering of Pro-Choice people. The Pro-Life campaign had a very strong and rather unusually unfriendly presence that was at times, intimidating. It was not a joyous moment, regardless of any bias towards pro-choice or pro-life, this was a hostile environment where a diversity of opinion was not welcome.

Without divulging too much more, my mind was immediately drawn to the above mentioned quote by scholar, W.E.B. DuBois. DuBois analyzed the Black Church during the turn of the century and was a great sociologists and civil rights activist in his own right. As DuBois notes above, the issue is not perhaps pro-choice nor pro-life, but the damnation of women by society. We do not offer women the chance to choose their own lives and livelihood and motherhood should be, in my humble opinion, another one of those choices balanced by accountability and responsibility lived out in community.

As DuBois says, we live in a world that "worship both virgins and mothers and in the end despises motherhood and despoils virgins." In the frailty of humanity, we have not respected the God in each person and the choices, the free will that has been preordained to each individual created in the likeness of the Triune God. No, this is not an argument in favor of pro-choice or pro-life, but rather a reflection on a divisive issue in our country and our ever increasing complexity dealing with the super-imposed nature of our misunderstanding of each other. How is it possible to live in a society that wants each woman to be a virgin until marriage when she will become a mother but yet we do not truly respect the lifestyles of mothers and castaway virgins in our midst? In the light of a post-racial horizon, will we also seek to transcend the barrier of sexism and hetero-normative roles? Or will we continue to subject our mothers, sisters, daughters, aunts, and cousins to damnation because they are women?

Negro In A Hat

2009-01-09T09:46:00.001-05:00

I take you through plethoras of euphorias With my oh so swifted

anointed and gifted veracious vernacular

you say "wow this Dom's spectacular"

And still these euphorias make you sing like "Hallelu glorias"

Negro in a Hat?

Mr. Garvey tried to tell ya and have you sell your souls To the Black – Folks – us- give us beautiful "You need my soap too" –Amistad immutable

Don't compare our heritage, we rise higher than the Jewish, oppressed yet we still stand the test Of endurance yet we eat of Young, the rich doctor did discover But why is it still others gain our respect Suess locked up fictionalizes a story now mythologized and toyed around in our sub-conscious as we theorize "The Cat in the Hat"

But hey Billie, yo Duke - what happens when our cat is Black?

Sugar Cane still calling, Our Invisible Institution – now of physical separation still fallen, Sweet Daddy Grace still stalling

The FBI, CIA Then we rise up to form the UNIA, NAACP, CORE, SNCC this alphabet soup Fighting for liberty Liberty but never equality because we are nothing more

Than a cat in a hat Claude said we're dying, but at least we're fighting back And now trees of injustice Then grow in Our Mother Creator's Back

But there's too many more of ya

Who are lying in a slumber

The world passes you by

Passes you by

But you would rather March

With a Negro in a Hat

Then realize you're still asleep and these words his spitting, these words his spitting Broken promises can't bring the one true Him back You hung there with a Hat that pierced his side as they hung him wide

Resurrection and Renaissance of a new day you say?

A glorious come what may that came but will never Change the hatred that fills hearts and makes people say "Why say there girl, this train is for business class tosay"

I am tired of being so sicked and tyre-d of you You can't wash your white collar clean because the last time I checked it’s still blue In resurrection there must be Death but are you adept to this truth that I'm saying There's already been the one great slaying So stop staying, stop fronting hold still and firm on your roots instead of Swaying

To understand this truth syrum that I'm saying You have to Understand as said by Carter G wood "son - stand up from your mis-education"

The mis-education

That rapes a nation

From the "Wife of His Youth"

There's plenty of injustice that we're facing Without placing dunce caps on each other The shackles I feel, I know they are real pulling me back In To the Trans Atlantic Trade or believe - this reality is deep and vast like the Great Sea So wake up my sisters and trade you hat for crowns My beautiful super Son kissed Super Sun kissed Nubian queens And kind Sir Don't get mad at me Don't get mad at me Don't get mad at me This aint reverse bigotry Don't get mad at me Because you see me as a little girl incapable of spitting the reality of this world But you can't see me And my one, two, three Working on four degrees My PhD I may be a nigger for you to see But I wi be the Dr. Mrs. Nigger for you to plea you case of racist insanity Don't get mad at me, this Negro in a Hat I'm spitting the truth, there's absolutely no denying that

And before too long

I broke the shackles to Me Free

Got my degree

And not my doctorate is not my philosophical hating degree Though that's all the possibility you think of me

This way and that

But no one can tell you

Because for many

I'm still a Negro

Light skinned - yes

But still just wearing

A Hat

Benefits of Marriage – Taxes

2009-01-05T13:42:00.003-05:00

Not many think of taxes as a "benefit" of marriage. My partner and I have been living together for over one year now and have faced many challenges that quite frankly – we were not aware existed.

For instance, taxes, we both have to file taxes separately and as "single" because there is not a space for domestic partner. In fact, she will have to PAY taxes now and I will receive money back from my individual taxes. It would work out in our interest if we could file together. Also, we lose out on any tax break that the new Obama administration would offer. Below is an excerpt from CNN.

Middle-class tax cut: Obama would offer a tax cut equal to $500 a year for individuals and $1,000 for couples. The credit would work essentially as a payroll tax credit, meaning the money could be delivered fairly quickly. Companies could simply reduce the tax they withhold from employees' paychecks.

The tax credit is likely to be offered only to those below a certain income level, but the Obama team hasn't specified where the cut-off point would be. The credit also would be refundable, meaning that even tax filers without any tax liability -- typically very low-income workers -- would receive one.

As two middle-class individuals who are working hard to secure a little piece of happiness, we cannot even receive the full benefits from this tax break. Yet another way that we are excluded from the justice system in ensuring equal rights for all.

Perhaps Obama will live up to this glorious idea or rather "dream" as someone once alluded to – and be a candidate for all people – even LGBT sisters and brothers.

Stemme?

2009-01-02T19:11:00.001-05:00

I have been considering the ideology of "labeling" people and why it may or may not be necessary. Regardless of how people would like to live outside of any human made label system, we are individual and unique persons who fellowship with like persons. Yet still there are many factions in small groups of collectivities – such as the Black Lesbian Community.

My partner and I vary in our identification, as most lesbian couples do. She is very much a femme; a lesbian who dresses in attire that is more feminine based on the hetero-normative standards of gender. However, her personality is very much strong-willed, independent, and outgoing; some would say this makes her more dominant – and at times, I most certainly agree. Therefore, her self-gender identification is still woman and she dresses feminine yet she defies the traditional roles of womanhood.

Conversely, I feel most comfortable in dress slacks, a dress shirt, and a fabulous tie. I can be decisive (at times) but am very generous, affectionate, emotive, and an overall Teddy Bear. Of course, I self-identify as a woman but most Black lesbians would call me a "stud" because I dress in a way that is much more associated with masculinity. There are times when I crave the manifestation of this inner manhood in our relationship – but this craving is more so of a dominance rather than a partnership. Nevertheless, some accuse me of "cross-dressing," whereas I see this as a means of gender non-conformity or gender bending.

Another acquaintance of ours is a closeted Black lesbian who seemingly does not feel comfortable in either role. She must please her unsuspecting family but yet wants to be accepted by the lesbian community. She walks a fine line between gender-bending and flat out confusion. For instance, she wore dress pants, a dress shirt, and a tie to the club with French manicured nails. Does this make her a stemme? – a Lesbian who is a mix between a stud and a femme? Or is she the outward expression and manifestation of her confusion. Most important:

Does it matter? To Whom? And Why?

2008-12-02T12:08:00.001-05:00

The beautifully bright green apple stared at me from across the room, beckoning me to her sweetness. Granny would be oh-so delicious and provide me with a solution for my Sweet, yet healthy sensation. I imagined feasting on Her Sweetness and the sensational feeling of one of my favorite fruits. But then, a little Sister was next to her. A very small, unannounced red apple; one-third of the size of my original G. Perplexed, I was unsure whom to choose. But, the desires of my heart fell upon me and I decided to enjoy the refined sweetness of God's Creation in Unity. They jumped away from the others into my pocket and we traveled together to my special place on campus. Not many know of my special get-a-way, surrounded by books, the smells of the pages invigorating my senses. There is a single, solitary Black computer. She and I met daily and engage in such intercourse bringing forth magic and development. I look into the reflection of myself in the Screen as I consumed, am consumed by the sweetness of the little Red G. Everything I imagined and more. But she fooled me, under her skin she was browned and completely undesirable. I ate around the undesirable and believed her to be a mirage of what my original would be. She would fulfill my Desires. After completing and discarding the remainder of this wanna-be-delight, I reached into my pocket and pulled her Out. I rubbed her gently knocking away and dust or impurities. It was at this moment that She and I knew we were meant to be. Yes, Green Granny Apple, with light touches of Red and Brown – such perfect imperfections on my soon to be Lover. I took a bite into Her and let the sweetness run to the corners of my mouth. Symphonies danced around Us, our love was complete, authors and composers alike bowed down at this fateful meeting – a Meeting I thought was Meant-to-Be, She and I – and little one-third of Zie. She was never Bruised and offered me fulfillment. But at the expense of Discarding Another. There is no turning back, She and I will forever be One.

Response to Exclusivism

2008-11-11T16:13:00.001-05:00

Responding to Evangelical Seminarians

Wesley Theological Seminary, located in Northwest Washington, District of Columbia, is known for being a more "liberal" seminary of the United Methodist Church. When I first arrived at Seminary, I was unsure of what to expect. However, I was made aware that I needed to stay away from "Logos" – "these people" were conservative, Evangelical "gay-bashers." I was somewhat perplexed that I would face this type of hatred at a seminary. I was able to weather three years at a southern university and did not believe I could have endured a more hostile environment, but I was most certainly in for quite a surprise.

When I heard a good friend discuss the "strengthening presence" of Logos, I 1) became defensive and 2) began to think of the leadership and the members of said organization. There was a complete transformation one of members since he joined the organization. When I first encountered, "Steve" we had much in common and he was a very nice, outgoing, somewhat shy individual. However, I enjoyed our brief conversations and spending time in class with him. Now, over the course of a semester, I have personally witnessed the transformation of this individual into a rather outspoken, hateful, contempt-filled person who was less than pleasant to be around.

A young lady from school had an agenda of finding her husband at school. She completed her undergraduate studies at a Liberal United Methodist School in the Northeastern corridor. She was a movie and music fanatic and admitted to having gay friends. "Saundra" had a mission to find her husband while at seminary and began a hot pursuit of Steve. After chasing Steve, though Steve was not interested, she then began to say she was more conservative that she originally thought." This was amazing and caused a bit of deep reflection for me. Many persons informed me that my entire paradigm of thinking would change but I was not able to understand how people could become more hateful in seminary.

Nonetheless, I have observed this young man, Steve, become more increasingly, "Evangelical" in his practices and beliefs, to the point where he has become a Fundamentalists. In a conversation with my friend, "Eli" he asked the following questions and made the following comments:

Why do we have to learn liberation theology?
Why is this [liberation theology] being shoved down our throats?
We feel threatened on campus, the campus is not a safe space [for members of Logos]."
We need to strengthen our presence and if necessary, live into the stereotypes

Why do we need to learn liberation theology?

I address the first question about liberation theology. This refutation of importance and significance is sobering. It must be noted that the originator of these statements is a privileged white, heterosexual, male. Also, the Logos group has and is mostly comprised of white men, with the exceptions of a few Asians – who are mostly Korean.

Before Dr. James Cone, a majority of the Academy did not address the spiritual concerns of Black Americans. Before womanism, the voice of sisters was silenced. Liberation has, will, and is inspiring and providing hope for a countless number of people, including myself. Perhaps, one of the problems with white racism is that whites are not aware of their race and privilege daily. It is almost a guarantee that a black person is reminded of their race, ethnicity, and alleged inferiority – regardless of their attainments or achievements.

There is a need for liberation theology because not everyone, including seminary students and pastors, are familiar with the subject of a liberation theology. Fortunately, I heard of womanism when taking a Zora Neale Hurston advanced studies course at my alma mater. When learning about a variety of liberation theologies, I felt a sense of acceptance and affirmation, no longer was I conditioned to listen to messages of hate and inferiority that were "biblically based." I learned that all persons are of sacred worth and that the interpretation of the Bible is and will be a long going debate.

It is most problematic when students do not feel as if they should need to learn about other persons and cultures – this is a sense of xenophobia. Students who are not open to learn are not teachable and have a negative spirit. They openly challenge the professors and bring a negative spirit in the classroom. This ill-spirited nature of the questions is very difficult to cope with especially as a minority. Often, the members of this group, Logos, pray in a vernacular that reinforces systems and beliefs of domination.

Why is this Liberation theology shoved down our throats?

As a child, I remember hearing about the accomplishments of Christopher Columbus. However, this did not make sense to me. How can one man be glorified for finding a continent of people? Where did the indigenous people come from? I often wondered as an adolescent. As I began to read and ask questions, I realized that Columbus did not discover America. In fact, there were people who were before Columbus. The "discovery" of Columbus was highly contested in academic communities and this discovery led to the marginalization, oppression, and slaying of many indigenous persons. No, Christopher Columbus did not discover America.

In a similar tone, it is necessary to learn about Liberation Theology because of the oppression and marginalization that currently exists in the Academy and the Church. Though my initial reflections on this topic began before the 2008 Election cycle, Proposition 8 on the California Ballot comes to mind. The Supreme Court of California and Governor Arnold Swarzenegger allowed queer persons the right to marry. This right was very much accepted by the LGBT community. This was a decisive victory for the LGBT community and we were on the precipice of hope.

However, the Evangelical community, due to the narrow-minded beliefs, did and does not believe in 1) homosexuality and 2) the right of homosexuals to marry. This is very frustrating as a member of this queer community who is called to Christian love to all of the creation of God. Nevertheless, the Evangelical Community, along with various other organizations threw money into defeating the Constitutional Amendment that allowed queer persons the right to marry. This was a blow to the whole of American society as a bi-racial president, the first "Black president" was elected to the highest office in America.

The Churches aligned in opposition to gay marriage threw an unprecedented amount of money into the campaign to defeat Proposition 8. This money, in excess of fifty million dollars, could have been used for mission programs, small-company bailouts, assisting families with utility bills, helping persons with mortgage payments, and the list continues. Instead of using the financial resources of these Churches for the edification of the people and glory of God, the Churches used the money to continue systems of oppression and marginalization.

Now, it must be noted that many of the Evangelical preachers have not been seminary educated. Perhaps, they are not aware of liberation theology nor liberation theologians. Additionally, many of these preachers lack a formalized college-education. When watching the televangelists preach messages of hatred towards the LGBT community, the words of the King James Version of the Bible spit like hot fire off of their lips. It is important to realize that this is a version of the Bible that is not necessarily biblically correct.

Also of importance – the term "homosexuality." Most theologians and Biblical scholars of today would agree that the term "homosexual" or "homosexuality" is not mentioned in the Bible. In fact, there are no words of relative similarity. Also, the institution of marriage as it is known today is not mentioned in the Bible. Men and women found each other, consummated their marriage, and went on building their lives. Of course, there are feasts and marital activities, but the concept of the Church performing weddings is very recent in history, dating back to less than six hundred years ago.

It is important to bring up the issues of homosexuality and gay marriage as related to liberation theology for a variety of reasons. Foremost, liberation theology is important for the uplift and social mobility of a particular group of people whom have previously been oppressed due to the doctrine of the Church and interpretation of Scripture. There have been efforts made to write papers and expositions on the role of homosexuals in/and the Church but there has not been a sustained theological reflection of a queer liberation theology, as has been done with Black, Latino/a, and womanist liberation theologies.

Secondly, homosexuals are one of the most – if not the most – targeted group by Evangelicals and others in the Christian community. Homosexuals who are active participants in their local churches are often subject to hiding their true identity or "reconstructive sexuality practices" which are geared to making or transforming homosexuals to the heterosexual lifestyle. In this way, the uniqueness and personhood of homosexuals is not adequately addressed nor is the love of God placed in homosexuals recognized.

Lastly, it is important to lift homosexuals to the forefront when thinking of a liberation theology because homosexuals have often been forgotten in the published work of liberation theology thus far. Not without saying there have been "references" to homosexuals in liberation theology, but there has not been a theological reflection to significantly address the needs of the queer community.

Learning about liberation theology is important due to demystification. There are years, centuries, and generations of lies based on a biased and prejudiced biblical interpretation. Reinforcing the need for liberation theology goes miles and bounds for attesting to its essential importance. Liberation theology is not just a theory or theology that is confined to the seminary but applicable in all aspects of life.

We feel threatened on campus, the campus is not a safe space [for members of Logos].

It is quite odd that a group such as Logos would feel threatened on a very open and accepting seminary campus. In fact, just years ago, Logos was cited as the reason that the LGBT student group, Of Sacred Worth¸ moved off campus. I would be interested in dialoguing with the group to discuss what issues could have possibly made the group feel as if they are not welcome. Conversely, Wesley is known for its genuinely open and accepting atmosphere and attitude towards all people. Or, is it really being said that because Wesley is so open and accepting, others feel as if it is impossible to live in a narrow-minded tunnel vision, thus the systems of domination are being challenged.

We need to strengthen our presence and if necessary, live into the stereotypes

This comment truly rocks my soul. A way to kill the spirit of a person, even before meeting or encountering them is to place stereotypes on this person that are based on fear, hatred, angst, and animosity. This is what many, including myself, feel as if Logos has and is doing on our loving campus. I watch, in awe, as the members of this group pay more attention to finding Biblical scriptures of the King James Version to prove their point than to listen and actively engage others in conversations. I worry that this resentment and gathering together is becoming more of a cultic expression. On a larger level, I realize this is what has become of the Evangelical Church.

The Evangelical Church feels threatened because of the diversity manifest in the world. In order to challenge this, Evangelicals have returned further into their shells and isolate an increasing amount of people. In fact, the Evangelical community and remainder of the Religious Right were quite influential in the 2000 and 2004 Presidential Campaigns. Their voices and opinions were heard as the President, George W. Bush, realized that he was only as strong as the support they afforded to him. In a desperate attempt to separate and divide the United States, the Evangelicals and Religious Right have managed to preach a "fear gospel" in which congregants must fear and not engage with the other – such is seen in the support given to Proposition 8.

All in all – my soul is thirsty for the sweetness of equality. My heart hungers for the bread of fellowship. Is this day coming?

I call all Christians to "strengthen the presence" of God in their lives. Regardless of doctrinal beliefs, it is important to realize that the message contained within the Bible is that of love. We are not loving neighbor or selves when practicing exclusivism. It is more important that we recognize the image of God in the face of all of the children of God. It is important to put agenda and partisanship aside and work towards bringing the beloved Community into fruition.

Psalm 133

The Blessedness of Unity

A Song of Ascents.
¹How very good and pleasant it is
when kindred live together in unity!

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To You, Mrs. Shug

2008-11-11T15:17:00.000-05:00

To You, Mrs. Shug

As a child, I remember watching The Color Purple and feeling some type of immediate attachment to the story line and plot of the movie. I had read through the pages of this book but did not quite understand its magnanimity, perhaps due to my location in white middle-to-upper class suburban America. The book as a place for my imagination did not make sense. But when I say the movie I began to understand how my story was related and connected to not only the fictional women, but the women who played these characters.

Much has been written about the relationship between Shug and Mrs. Celie – that is not what I propose to do. Each time I read the book and watch the movie, new aspects of creation are revealed to me. Currently, Shug, “has been on my mind” and her struggle to fit-in with not only society but with the church. There was an inner warring that led her to be promiscuous with various men. She turned away from the church because there were rigid and strict rules that did not allow Shug to feel as if she could be open and transparent with the members of the church, especially not her father – who was the pastor.

The internal war and struggle of Shug is similar to what many Black lesbians who were raised in the traditional Black churches face today. Speaking on my behalf, I have often felt as if I am searching for the church community that can be open and affirming. The church community that really ministers to my soul and allows me to feel incorporated into the body of believers. The same church community who is transparent with me as I with her.

Over one-year ago, I began a journey into the life of ordained, pastoral ministry. I knew that the road would not be easy but I did not realize all of the obstacles and burdens that would soon come. When I would inform people of my acceptance of the call, they would usually respond “praise God for the call.” I would smile but something inside of me just cringed. The United Methodist Church has a “stipulation” if you will, in Paragraph 161.G of the Book of Discipline which states, “homosexuality is incompatible with Christian teaching.” However, just lines before this the paragraph says all persons are of sacred worth and that churches are not to condemn homosexuality. The church, my church, is struggling internally.

I have watched from the sidelines at the 2008 General Conference as delegates from around the world strategically aligned their self-interest as to keep “others” out. On a Sunday morning at a Maryland Suburban United Methodist Church, the young pastor can often be known to give words of encouragement, inspiration and motivation. He is a man of God who has a loving and compassionate heart but most importantly, a prophetic voice. As I have watched, listened, and learned from this pastor over the last year and some change, I realize that we must all be on God’s agenda instead of trying to push one agenda over another. I have internally struggled with whether Black Lesbian, Gay, Bi-sexual, Transgendered rights and equality are on God’s agenda. At times, I hear conflicting messages about this, yes, even from this same pulpit.

Regardless, there is always hope of restoration on Communion Sundays. Whenever the Eucharist is being offered, it is without a doubt that the pastor will talk of inclusion and grace for all people; in the Methodist tradition we like to say “pervenient grace.” On November 3, 2008, the pastor of this medium-sized all Black United Methodist Church was right on point. He said, “For years we have spent time shutting people out because we built characteristics. We have developed a tone that is condemning.” He could have been speaking right to the delegates of the Central Conferences and those delegates from Southern and Western conferences who opposed legislation to remove this harmful language and allow the inclusion of all persons, yes even LGBT persons. Ever since the 1972 General Conference, the church has been in turmoil because of a man, a laity person, who decided to discuss the issue of homosexuality.

Shug. Shug lived a glorious and luxurious life at times. In fact, she achieved a certain level of fame and even became married. It is most interesting when Shug returns back to the small country town with her new husband and automobile. She walks around and shows everyone her lovely ring. At one point in the movie, she runs to the mailbox and yells, “I’s married now.” Without a care in the world, the mailman rides away and Shug lets her arm fall to the side.

We see the external efforts of Shug attempting to call out for attention. She wants to be recognized because she h as done something that she believes the Church and society will accept. She has settled down and is married to a man who, without a doubt, loves and accepts her. But still, her heart is yearning for a deeper connection.

As I began the ordination process in the United Methodist Church, all was well. However, there are always haters! My local pastor did not want me to proceed which caused all sorts of stumbling blocks that I had to turn into a stair stepper and keep it moving. I met with the District Council on Ministries and all signs were well. Patiently, I worked my way through the remedial assigned course work with my mentor, a friendship I still cherish to this day. The pastor of my local church where I was employed was working with me. .. but I still felt a bit empty. Something inside me was cringing. I knew all of these people relatively well, but how well did they know me? Could I serve a church that would oppress and marginalize others like me? My family members and loved ones? To make matters worse, I fell in love.

Now, the Bible is seen in most Christian communities as the book of authority. However, United Methodists love the Book of Discipline and are confined by what has been included. In fact, many preachers, and even lay persons, will not act outside of the realm of the B.O.D. This singular book has caused created a fear and silenced the voice of many. The good reverend of this medium-sized church in Maryland was exactly on point when he preached, “The church has become accidentally, an exclusive place where only people like us fit in…We have accidentally become a community of exclusivists.” Well pastor, I agree to a certain extent. I strongly believe we have intentionally allowed our churches to become a place of elitism where racism, sexism, heterosexism, and homophobia run rampant. Yes, the church has become a theological country club that analyzes all aspects of the word except for the membership of those on the Board. Yes, access is denied for all those who do not fit in and conform in order to maintain the status quo and subscribe to a set of inferior ideology.

Inferiority is reinforced by many of the hermeuntical expositions in the traditional Black church. If one is not able to tithe ten percent of one’s earnings, or participate in ministry activities, is not married with children, and maintains a certain level of income – then the preaching can seem very much condemning. Imagine how it feels to be a “half” of yourself to an entire congregation of people. You want to hold the hand of your partner during morning service and during prayer, you want to start a ministry for Black LGBT persons in the community and perhaps even begin discussion Domestic Violence. But you, do not have a membership pass to the country club, until Communion Sunday.

My partner and I have been worshipping together at this church for over a year and it is more or less an open-secret that we are together. What is meant, everyone knows we live, drive, and spend our time together. Most of the youth know that we are in a relationship by the way we interact. However, no one has ever openly said anything about our relationship – to our knowledge. We know there are other lesbian and gay couples in the church, but we are afraid to interact with each other for fear of ostracization and further marginalization. So nothing is said, by us or by the rest of the church.

When I began the ordination process, I had relatively no worries. I had a commitment to stay single and had just been delivered from a very tumultuous relationship and domestically violent situation. As is the story with love, I started to socialize more with my best friend and as the old adage notes, “one thing lead to another” and we fell in love. I scanned and searched the Book of Discipline, for “falling in love with candidates for ordained ministry,” or “homosexuals masquerading the heterosexual lifestyle who fall in love,” and a variety of other derivations. To no avail, I was lost.

I expressed my disgruntledness with Paragraph 161.G with my mentor and felt quite a bit of distancing. To this day, my District Superintendent is unreachable. And I was left, “high and dry” as the saying goes. I never repealed my candidacy and am to my knowledge, still a candidate for pastoral, ordained ministry, but I fell in love – and am now engaged. The good reverend of this church said, “We have to shift the conversation or one day, it will only be you” in reference to the members of the exclusive country club church-goers. Yes, it will only be you. “I’s engaged now.” But can you even see me?

Shug was a singer who attracted masses of men to watch her seductive body move as she lured them in with the sweet melodies of her voice. She sang in clubs because God blessed her with the gift of music. The kind of music that emaninated from her soul. She would sing these beautiful jazz melodies and fill the room with her voice but her soul was so very empty. One Sunday morning, she was singing in the makeshift club and her soul was lifted away in deep remembrance and yearning for the Church. She began to walk out of the club, captivating all those with her as they all followed her to the church. When Shug got to the church, she flund open the doors to the country club…church, and was humbled. She began to sing, “SPEAK LORD…SPEAK TO ME.” In this very emotional moment, the choir, her father and pastor were stunned, and Shug dedicated her life to Christ (again) on this day. No matter how much Shug accomplished in the world, her basis was still in the church. Shug had to return to the Church so that she could re-clinch a sense of self and live in community as God our creator intended.

The revered of this Maryland church said that the world is in a conversation. Everyone is in this conversation but the voice of the Church is absent. The pastor recounted a story from his adolescence about a childhood friend named T. T was very rough around the edges and apparently involved in the drug trade. He often said this T would profess that he did not want to go to church. In another anecdote, the pastor us about a brass player in his high school band who committed suicide. The revered told us on a Communion Sunday, “To bring him [Tony] to a church was to bring him to a place where there was no conversation of his life…We had not place in the church for T.”

Joseph and Mary walked all over Bethlehem on the night of the birth of Jesus trying to find somewhere to lay their heads and deliver their son. Time after time, they were told there was “no room in the inn.” Pushed to the sides due to stereotypes, the young couple was forced to sleep in a barn. People were unable to see the Holy Spirit inside of Mary that was, would be, and is a gift for the whole world. Similarly, the country club church says there is no room for an increased membership for Black Lesbians. Shug is not welcome, I am not welcome, my partner, is not welcome. There is no conversation of our lifestyles because our voices are not heard nor welcomed.

The pastor goes on to say, “For years we have spent time shutting people out because we built characteristics. We have developed a tone that is condemning.” Additionally, he preached that we, the Church community, “We have built a pious, uppity attitude.” Well, well. These attitudes must be dismantled, tones changed, and piety re-examined. What is to be of this “pervenient grace?” What is the importance or significance of a Communion Sunday if the brokenness and restoration of the Christ is only offered to a few and not all? Was this the intention of the Triune God?

Simply, no. It is not. The Color Purple had a relatively happen ending. But our real-life stories do not. I do not know what happened to the pastor’s friend T; the pastor shared with us that his depressed band friend committed suicide because he did not fit-in and was told time and time again that there was no place in the inn. The Country Club members failed to see the Holy Spirit in him as they stood on the green propelling their little white balls of hatred, contempt, and animosity into the deep waters of his heart. Members of the Black Lesbian community are returning to the church in a last measure to regain a sense of self. We, like our sister Shug, are standing in the middle of the aisle asking God to speak to us – individually and corporately as a church and societal community. With trepidation in our hearts, we walk down the aisle every Sunday – at least in our minds – to dedicate our lives to Christ again in hopes that we may be accepted and not cast away like Hagar.

The pastor of this Maryland United Methodist Church said all people want, especially young people, “A community that they can call their own – all they want is a place called home…and we can be that.” Yes, Black lesbians would like a community, like Shug, to call our own. Most of us were born and raised in the traditional Black church and feel empty without this spiritual connection of our community. Unfortunately, many Black lesbians have been taught that being a lesbian is mutual excluding them from the promises of God and have turned to practices such as Voodoo and Condomble, to list a few. We would like to return to the Church and challenge her to be more accepting and responsive to the life and lifestyles of people of today.

We want a placed called home.

© 2008 RahMonique Publishers
A division of RahMonique, LLC.